The thing about watching direct-to-video movies is, that just when you think you’ve seen the worst, you see something even worse. But it’s going to be hard to top Future War, where self-destructing dinosaurs and moustachioed cyborgs threaten a runaway intergalactic slave and a guilt-ridden former prostitute training to be a nun. Throw in a slow as molasses pace, pretty much every character wearing a checked shirt (!),cardboard boxes used as set dressing and a healthy dose of religious mumbo jumbo to top it all off. In order to help you survive the unending parade of film idiocy, the film will receive a live dubbing courtesy of our translators. Support them by wearing a checked shirt, please.
